Spike Jones Murders Again

SideTrack
1 Clink, Clink, Another Drink
Laura
My Old Flame
Cocktails For Two
Chloe
2 Doin' The New Racoon
Old MacDonald Had A Farm
The Charleston
MacNamara's Band
Blowing Bubble Gum
3 Holiday For Strings
My Pretty Girl
I'm Getting Sentimental Over You
Secret Love
Our Hour
4 People Are Funnier Than Anybody
The Man On The Flying Trapeze
Der Fuehrer's Face
You Always Hurt The One You Love
Charleston-Mio


Clink, Clink, Another Drink


Clink, clink, another drink
Plenty in the cellar when it's gone
Drink, drink, the glasses clink
Making tinkly music till the dawn is breaking

Clang, clang, who cares a dang
What's the difference when you're on a spree?
Over the teeth, behind the gums
Look out stomach, here she comes
I'll have another drink on me

Gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle
Gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle
Trickle, trickle, trickle, trickle
Slice of cheese and bite of pickle
Doesn't even cost a nickel
Now wash it down - oh!

Clink (hic) clink (hic) no more to drink
I had a cellar full but now it's gone (hic)
Drink, drink, the glasses clink (hic)
Like the anvil chorus and my head is splitting (hic)
Breaking (hic) busting (hic)... oh, brother!
Oh, ow! (hic) What do I do now?
Pink elephants are running after me (hic)
Oh that stuff was smooth as silk
From now on I'll stick to milk (hic)
Nothing else to drink for me (hic)


Laura


Laura is the face in the misty lights
Footsteps that you hear down the hall
The laugh that floats on a summer night
That you can never quite recall
And you see Laura on a train that is passing through
Those eyes how familiar they seem
She gave your very first kiss to you
That was Laura but she's only a dream


My Old Flame


My old flame
I can't even think of her name
But it's funny now and then
How my thoughts go flashing back again
To my old flame

I've met so many who had fascinating ways
A fascinating gaze in their eyes
Some who took me up to the skies
But their attempts at love
Were only imitations of

My old flame
I can't even think of her name
But I'll never be the same
Until I discover what became
Of my old flame

My old flame
I can't even think of her name
I'll have to look through my collection of human heads
But it's funny now and then
How my thoughts go flashing back again
To my old flame

My old flame
My new lovers all seem so tame
They won't even let me strangle them!
For I haven't met a girl
So magnificent or elegant
As my old flame

I've met so many who had fascinating ways
A fascinating gaze in their eye
I saw this eye! So I remove the other eye,
that eye that kept winking and blinking at other men!
Some who took me up to the skies
But their attempts at love
Were only imitations of

My old flame
I can't even think of her name
What was her name?
Doris, Laura, Chloe, Mannie, Moe, Jack?
No, it couldn't have been Moe...
I can't stand it, I tell you! This is driving me sane!
She would always treat me mean
So I poured a can of gasoline
And struck a match to...
My old flame


Cocktails For Two


Oh what delight to be given the right
To be carefree and gay once again
No longer slinking, respectfully drinking
Like civilized ladies and men

No longer need we miss
A charming scene like this

In some secluded rendez-vous
That overlooks the avenue
With someone sharing a delightful chat
Of this and that with cocktails for two
As we enjoy a cigarette
To some exquisite chansonette
Two hands are sure to slyly meet beneath
The serviette with cocktails for two

My head may go reeling
But my heart will be obedient
With intoxicating kisses
For the principal ingredient

Most any afternoon at five
We'll be so glad we're both alive
Then maybe fortune will complete a plan
That all began with cocktails for two


Most any afternoon at five
Monday to Sunday at five
We'll be so glad we're both alive
We'll be so glad we're alive
Then maybe fortune will complete a plan
That all began with cocktails for...
Two (hic), two (hic, hic), two-oo-oo (hic)


Chloe


Chloe
Chloe
Someone's calling

(ring)
Hello! You don't say? You don't say? You don't say?
Who was it?
He didn't say.

No reply
nightshade's falling
Hear him sigh
Chloe
Where are you, you old bat
Empty spaces meet his eyes
Empty arms outstreched
He's crying
Through the black of night
I've gotta go where you are

Whether it's here, whether it's thar
I wanna be thar, wherever you are

If it's wrong or right
I've gotta go where you are

Hello, Chloe, waddayouknowy
I just got back from a vaudeville showy

I roam through the dismal swamplands
Searching for you
Cause if you have lost it
Let me be there too (three, four, hup)
And through that smoking flame
I've got to go where you are

Thunder or lightning, shower or snow
when I get a call, I've gotta go

For no place can be too far
where you are
Ain't no chains can bind you
and if you live, I'll find you
Love is calling me
I've got to go where you are


Ain't no chains can bind you
and if and if you live, haha I'm gonna find you my pretty baby
Love is calling me

(ring)
Hello! You don't say? You don't say?
Who was it?
Same guy!

I've got to go where you are


Doin' The New Racoon


Hurry mister furrier,
You better set some traps
Hurry mister furrier,
And I don't mean perhaps
The charleston's coming back again
Although they once embalmed it
So synchronize your racoonsmen
And dance like dad and mom did

Hey now, say now,
Hear the music play now
It's a brand-new tune
For doin' the new racoon
Charleston, rythm
Makes you go right with 'em
Morning, night and noon
We're doin' the new racoon

You slide and you topple
You topple and slide
You glide and you wobble
From side to side
It appeals to small folks, tall folks
It's the rage for all folks
Won't you join us soon
Start doin' the new racoon


You slide and you topple
You topple and slide
You glide and you wobble
From side to side
It appeals to small folks, tall folks
It's the rage for all folks
Won't you join us soon
Start doin' the new racoon


Old MacDonald Had A Farm


Now, old MacDonald had a farm, ee-i-ee-i-o
And on this farm he had a dog, ee-i-ee-i-o
With a (bow-wow) here (bow-wow) there
Here (wow) there (wow) everywhere (bow-wow)
Old MacDonald had a farm, ee-i-ee-i-o

Now, old MacDonald had a farm, ee-i-ee-i-o
And on this farm he had a cow, ee-i-ee-i-o
With a (clung-clung) here (clung-clung) there
Here (clung) there (clung) everywhere (clung-clung)
(bow-wow) here (bow-wow) there
Here (wow) there (wow) everywhere (bow-wow)
Old MacDonald had a farm, ee-i-ee-i-o

Now, old MacDonald had a farm, ee-i-ee-i-o
And on this farm he had a pig, ee-i-ee-i-o
With a (oink-oink) here (oink-oink) there
Here (oink) there (oink) everywhere (oink-oink)
(clung-clung) here (clung-clung) there
Here (clung) there (clung) everywhere (clung-clung)
(bow-wow) here (bow-wow) there
Here (wow) there (wow) everywhere (bow-wow)
Old MacDonald had a farm, ee-i-ee-i-o

Now, old MacDonald had a farm, ee-i-ee-i-o
And on this farm he had a horse, ee-i-ee-i-o
With a (neigh) here (neigh) there
Here (clatter) there (clatter) everywhere (neigh)
(oink-oink) here (oink-oink) there
Here (oink) there (oink) everywhere (oink-oink)
(clung-clung) here (clung-clung) there
Here (clung) there (clung) everywhere (clung-clung)
(bow-wow) here (bow-wow) there
Here (wow) there (wow) everywhere (bow-wow)
Old MacDonald had a farm, ee-i-ee-i-o

Now, old MacDonald had a farm, ee-i-ee-i-o
And on this farm he had a parrot, ee-i-ee-i-o
With a (Pretty Polly) here (Hello) there
Here (raaa) there (raaa) everywhere (Pretty Polly)
(neigh) here (neigh) there
Here (clatter) there (clatter) everywhere (neigh)
(oink-oink) here (oink-oink) there
Here (oink) there (oink) everywhere (oink-oink)
(clung-clung) here (clung-clung) there
Here (clung) there (clung) everywhere (clung-clung)
(bow-wow) here (bow-wow) there
Here (wow) there (wow) everywhere (bow-wow)
Old MacDonald had a farm, ee-i-ee-i-o

Now, old MacDonald had a farm, ee-i-ee-i-o
And on this farm he had a car, ee-i-ee-i-o
With a (honk-honk) here (bang-bang) there
Here (honk) there (bang) everywhere (bang honk)
(Pretty Polly) here (Hello) there
Here (raaa) there (raaa) everywhere (Pretty Polly)
(neigh) here (neigh) there
Here (clatter) there (clatter) everywhere (neigh)
(oink-oink) here (oink-oink) there
Here (oink) there (oink) everywhere (oink-oink)
(clung-clung) here (clung-clung) there
Here (clung) there (clung) everywhere (clung-clung)
(bow-wow) here (bow-wow) there
Here (wow) there (wow) everywhere (bow-wow)

Hallo Mr. MacDonald, aren't we crazy

EE-I-EE-I-O


The Charleston


Charleston, charleston
Made in Carolina
Some dance, some prance
I'll say better than finer
Than the charleston, charleston
Boy, how you can shuffle
Every step you do
Leads to something new
Man, I'm telling you
It's a lopazoo

Buck dance, wing dance
Will be a back number
But the charleston
The new charleston
That dance is surely a comer
Sometime
You'll dance it one time
That dance called the charleston
Made in South Caroline


Buck dance, wing dance
Will be a back number
But the charleston
The new charleston
That dance is surely a comer
Sometime
You'll dance it one time
That dance called the charleston
Made in South Caroline


MacNamara's Band


There's a musical aggregation, I'll have you understand,
There's gone throughout the length and breadth of dear old Ireland
Oh, there aren't so many of them, the truth should hear the way
They take them for a [?????] when they begin to play

Oh, the drums go bang and the cymbals clang and the horns they blaze away
McCarthy toots the old bassoon and Kenny the pipes does play
And Henessee Tennessee tootles the flute and to Mac it's sound so grand
A credit to old Ireland is MacNamara's band


Lately Mac had said he heard a record by a band
Called the City Slickers, and Mac can't understand
Where the terrible noises comes from when the band begins to play
But now when Mac and the boys begin, it's sure to sound this way

Oh, the cowbells ring - and the whistles blow away
The washboard plays - and the basshorn sounds this way
A pistol shot - helps a lot, and to Mac it sounds just grand
But since they copied Spikes recording
Now Ireland is deporting all of MacNamara's band


Blowing Bubble Gum


I'm forever blowing bubble gum,
bubble gum, bubble gum.
Every time I blow my bubble gum,
Pop! goes my bubble gum.

When I blow a bubble, how I puff,
how I huff, huff and puff.
When I huff and puff and huff enough,
Pop! goes my bubble gum.

When I chew, chew, chew and blow, blow, blow,
Mom says I'm a disgrace.
When I chew, chew, chew and blow, blow, blow,
Bubbles burst all over my face.

I'm forever blowing bubble gum,
'Till I'm numb, 'till I'm dumb.
Every time I blow my bubble gum,
Pop! goes my bubble gum.

Mother. Bubble gum?
Daddy. Bubble gum?
Brother. Bubble gum?
(Sniffle) I want some bubble gum.

Grandma. Bubble gum?
Linda. Bubble gum?
Grandpa. Bubble gum?
(Wahahahaha) I want some bubble gum.

I'm gonna run away from home.
I don't know just where I'm gonna go.
But I'm gonna make me some money,
And I'm gonna buy me a whole lot of bubble gum to blow.

Uncle Spike, won't you please give me some bubble gum?
Why sure, George, here is some bubble gum.
Oh, my, uncle Spike, bubble gum! Ohh.


Holiday For Strings


(Instrumental, if that's the word)


My Pretty Girl


My pretty girl, my pretty girl
I'm always dreaming of you
My pretty girl, my pretty girl
My darling, how I love you

Promise me you will never leave me
Promise me you will never grieve me
Promise me you will not decieve me
Oh, my pretty girl

Please give me just one kiss
Once we've kissed, you won't miss
For your kiss brings such bliss
to my lonely heart

My pretty girl, my pretty girl
I'm always dreaming of you
My pretty girl, my pretty girl
My darling, how I love you

Promise me you will never leave me
Promise me you will never grieve me
Promise me you will not decieve me
Oh, my pretty girl


As we dance cuddle up and squeze me
As we dance cuddle up and please me
As we dance cuddle up and tease me
Oh, my pretty girl

Dance with me through the night
Let my arms hold you tight
And with dawns early light
Let me take you home

As we dance cuddle up and squeze me
As we dance cuddle up and please me
As we dance cuddle up and tease me
Oh, my pretty girl


I'm Getting Sentimental Over You


Oh, I never thought I'd fall
But now I hear the call
I'm getting sentimental over you
All the thoughtful little things you say and do
That thrill me through and through
I'm getting sentimental over you

I thought I was happy
I could live without love
Now I must admit that love is all I'm thinking off
Baby, won't you please be kind
And just make up your mind
That you'll be sweet and gentle
Be gentle with me
Because I'm sentimental over you


Because I'm sentimental over you

Oh, I can't stand much more of this.


Secret Love


Once, I had a secret love, (I think)
That inside of my heart she lived. (Crazy)
Once, her secret love had me, (Could be)
Impatient became to be free.

So a friendly star told me (Ola, Pedro)
The way that dreamers often do
Just how wonderful you are,
And why I'm so in love with me.

Now I shout it, from the highest hills;
Even told the golden daffo... what?
A door is open in my heart,
My secret love is anymore with me.


Seņor, don't be afraid of my dog, he won't bite you.

What kind of a dog is that?

This is a Mexican Spit, seņor.

Mexican Spit?

Si, seņor. Show him, Bandito.

Wow wow wow. Spit.


Now I shout it, from the highest hills;
Even told the golden daff.. chrysantemum.
A door is open in my heart,
My anymore's in secret love with me... Nononono.
My love is secret anymore with you... Nahh.
My secret anymore's in love.. Nanananah.
Ahh, the heck with it, you know what I mean.


Our Hour


The moon was like gold
As they strolled down the lane
Each star in the sky
Heard him sigh this refrain

This is our hour for love
Our hour to dream
Said the curly Pekingese
To his girlie Pekingese
Let's be gay we say woofwoof

This is our hour for love
Our hour to scheme
Said the little puppy-he
To the little puppy-she
Let us cling and sing woofwoof

I can picture you and me forever
Chasing pussycats together

This is our hour for love,
Our hour to dream
We will raise a family
Maybe twenty-two or three
They'll be our, our, our


This is our hour for love
Our hour to dream
You're my curly Pekingese
I'm your girlie Pekingese
Let's be gay and say woofwoof

This is our hour for love
Our hour to scheme
I'm your little puppy-he
I'm your little puppy-she
Let us cling and sing woofwoof

I can picture you and me forever
Chasing pussycats together

This is our hour for love
Our hour to dream
We will raise a family
Maybe twenty-two or three
They'll be our, our, our


People Are Funnier Than Anybody


Everyone say to begin the begin, but no-one she begins him, so I will tell you how. First you lift your right leg, like this. Then you lift your left leg, like this. Then you lift both your legs together, like this.

There must be an easier way to do this, I think.

This is our philosophy
This is our philosophy
And we're sure, that you'll agree
People are funnier that anybody

Woman needs five dollars bad
Beauty facial must be had
Husband can't spare the money, of course
But he puts ten dollars on the nose of a horse

Wife can't see well enough to drive
Car through garage-doors twelve foot wide
But on husbands suit of grey
She can spot a blond hair from a block away

This is our philosophy
This is our philosophy
And we're sure, that you'll agree
People are funnier that anybody

Husband plays poker and enjoys
Sitting up all of night with the boys
But at home with his wife he'll fight
If he has to sit ten minutes with the baby at night

Wife runs faster than any gale
When she hears of a one-cent sale
"I'm saving you money" to her husband she'll blab
But to get to the sale she takes a taxi-cab

This is our philosophy
This is our philosophy
And we're sure, that you'll agree
People are funnier that anybody

Man gets married, says it's one good deal
He waited years for a homecooked meal
When wife has nice hot dinner on plate
He comes home from the poolroom two hours late

When single man kiss his girl goodnight
He gets filled with thrilled delight
But when husband kiss his wife, to say the least
He gets his nose caught in a curler and his whole face greased


The Man On The Flying Trapeze


As the crowd roars, into the center ring steps our fractured baritone. Are you in voice, Winstead?
I believe I am in voice. (Whistle) Uhhhhh.
Professor.

Oh, honce I was whappy...
Oh, once I was sappy...
Sap, I was wancin... oh no
Once I was happy, but fow I'm nolorn, eh
Lorn I'm fow now, eh
Fine I'm right now, eh
Nylons are free, nono
Now I'm folorn.

Like an old goat - oh, no not a goat, that's an animal.
Like an old coat that is torntered and tat, eh
Teetered and tom...
Tattered and tip...
Tattered to payer...
Ripped.

Left in this wide world to sleep and to snore, eh
To weep and to horn
Betweened by a jade in her means, no
Bemeaned by a trade for some jeans, no
Bejeaned by a teen with some ja... no
Betrayed by a maid in her teens.

He floats by his hair - no, not by his hair, that would hurt.

Speaking of hair, a man came up to me today and said, "Doodles, your hair is getting thin". And I said, "Well, who wants fat hair?" How's that, killer?

He floats through the air with the atest of grease...
With the latest of please...
With plates full of cheese, nono
With the birds and the bees - he can't miss.
The manning young dare...
The daring young mare - that's not a horse, that's silly, break his neck.
The fanning young dare...
The danning young fare...
He's an awful old hare...
He's a young feller 'bout my age...

You know a funny thing happened, a man came up to me and said, "Doodles. Doodles, did you leave home?" I said, " I left home." He said, "Did you put the cat out?" I said, "I didn't know he was on fire." How's that, killer?

The daring young man on the flapping tripiece...
Treecing triflaps...
Trying flip flip...
Flipping triflap...
Flapping trivalve...
Horizontal bar.

His grations are axel...no
His actions are horribel...no
He's very good, all girls he does please.
But my wove he has lolen astay, no
The dogs in the hail off the way, no
I on the road to Mandalay, no
Hey, hey, hey...nono

Did you hear about the owl who married a goat? They had a hootnanny. How's that, killer?

He's the man on the flying trapeze.


Der Fuehrer's Face


When Der Fuehrer says, "We ist der master race"
We HEIL! HEIL! Right in Der Fuehrer's face
Not to love Der Fuehrer is a great disgrace
So we HEIL! HEIL! Right in Der Fuehrer's face

When Herr Göbbels says, "We own der world und space"
We HEIL! HEIL! Right in Herr Göbbels's face
When Herr Göring says, "They'll never bomb this place"
We HEIL! HEIL! Right in Herr Göring's face

Are we not the supermen
Aryan pure supermen
Ja we ist der supermen
Super-duper supermen
Ist this Nutzi land not good?
Would you leave it if you could?
Ja this Nutzi land is good!
Vee would leave it if we could

We bring the world new order
Heil Hitler's world New Order
Everyone of foreign race will love Der Fuehrer's face
When we bring to der world disorder

When Der Fuehrer says, "We ist der master race"
We HEIL! HEIL! Right in Der Fuehrer's face
Not to love Der Fuehrer is a great disgrace
So we HEIL! HEIL! Right in Der Fuehrer's face


When Der Fuehrer says, "We ist der master race"
We HEIL! HEIL! Right in Der Fuhrer's face
Not to love Der Fuehrer is a great disgrace
So we HEIL! HEIL! Right in Der Fuehrer's face


You Always Hurt The One You Love


You always hurt the one you love
The one you shouldn't hurt at all
You always take the sweetest rose
And crush it 'till the petals fall

Now, excuse me there, Mr. Carl Grayson, I'll tell this little girl all about this here situation. Now, honey child, you know that you always seems to break the...eh well the very kind of sort of our heart, with a hasty word, that..eh..that you just can't seem to recall. Honey child, honey lamb, honey baby, honey doll, honey pie, now, then if this boy - now, mind you, I says...eh IF this here boy done broke your heart last night, honey child, honey lamb, honey baby, honey doll, honey pie, it's because he loves you the most of all.


You always hurt the one you love
The one you shouldn't hurt at all
You always take the sweetest rose
And crush it 'till the petals fall

You always break the kindest heart
With a hasty word you can't recall
So if I broke your heart last night
It's because I love you most of all


Charleston-Mio


Just grab your girlfriend
Give her a whirl, friend
Right through the ceiling
Oh, what a feeling
If she's your steady
Have bandage ready
Because a gentleman is always thoughtful

O sole mio
And so are you-o
Let's do the charleston
That jazzy charleston
[????]
It's really fun, too
When you began to diggin' the charleston


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