Spike Jones Can't Stop Murdering

Ill Barkio (Il Bacio)

Peter Cottontail

I am Peter Cottontail
Hopping down the bunny trail
Hippetyhop and on my merry way

Bringing every girl and boy
Baskets full of lots of joy
Things to make you happy night and day

I've got jelly beans for Tommy
Colored eggs for sister Sue
And there's lots of chocolate bunnies
And they're yummy yummy too

My name's Peter Cottontail
Hopping down the bunny trail
Hippetyhoppety singing on my way

Now, gather 'round you kiddies
Be as quiet as can be
My Bunny Band will play
The fourteen carrot symphony

I am Peter Cottontail
Hopping down the bunny trail
Hippetyhop and happy all the day

Try to do the things you should
Maybe, if you're extra good
I'll bring lots of happiness your way

He's got tail and [feets and?] ears
Add he's tuned in with mom and dad
I'll just press my wigglely nose
And I'll know if you're good or bad

Oh, there goes Peter Cottontail
Hopping down the bunny trail
Hippetyhoppety, clippetycloppety
Skippetyskoppety, flippetyfloppety
Daydididayday

Deep Purple

When the deep purple falls
over sleepy garden walls
and the stars begin to flicker in the sky
thru the mist of a memory
you wander back to me
breathing my name with a sigh.

Where am I?

In the still of the night
once again I hold you tight.
Tho' you're gone your love lives on when moonlight beams
and as long as my heart will beat,
lover, we'll always meet
here in my deep purple dreams.

Riders In The Sky

One, and-a-two, and-a-three, eh, when do I come in, oldtimer?
In this song it don't matter, partner. Go ahead, sing.

Their faces gaunt, their eyes were blurred, their shirts all wet with sweat,
They're riding hard to catch that herd, but they ain't caught 'em yet,
'Cause your bound to ride forever on that range up in the sky,
And the horse is snorting fire (Is that possible? How would I know?) as they ride on, hear their cry:
(This is a cowboy legend? Oyee!)
Yippee-yi-yeh, yippee-yi-yo, ghost riders in the sky.

When Johnny comes marching home again, hooray, hooray
We make the guy who wrote this song pay and pay.
'Cause all we hear is Ghost Riders sung by Vaughn Monroe
I can do without his singing, but I wish I had his dough.

Pal-Yat-Chee (Pagliacci)

Ridi, Pagliaccio, Sul tuo amore'in fronto

All at once there's a fat guy in a clown suit.
Ain't Haller-ween, that's for shore.
Then this here feller, this Punchy Neller,
Begins to beller -- Like we all was deef:

Ha ha ha ha ha!

That was Pal-Yat-Chee an' he sung:

Invest in a tuba an' somthin' or other 'bout Cuba
He sung about a lady who weighed two hundred and eighty.
When she takes a powder he just starts chirpin' louder
And he don't do a gol-durn thing 'cept to stand up there an' sing.

When we listen to Pal-Yat-Chee we get itchy an' scratchy.
This shore is top corn so we go and buy some popcorn.
We hate to go back but we can't git our dough back.
There ain't no use complainin' 'cause outside it's a-rainin'.

Seven hours later we're still in the dern theater,
Takin' turns at nappin', a-waitin' for somethin' to happen.
Pal-Yat-Chee he ain't hurryin' but the folks on stage are flurryin'
And it sounds like Kat-chee-tur-ry-in's Sabre Dance.

When ol' Pal-Yat-Chee finds the guy he's seekin'
Cheek-to-cheekin' with his wife he grabs a knife
And stabs the louse who stole his spouse
An' then he stabs the lady and himself.
Ain't very sanitary.

They all collapse but ol' Pal-Yat-Chee sets up
Then he gets up, sings "I'm dyin',
I am dyin', I am dyin'."We start cryin'
'Cause to tell the truth we're dyin' too.

As the footlights fade out we see Pal-Yat-Chee laid out
But the dagger never caused it. Pal-Yat-Chee was plumb exhausted.

Ridi, Pagliaccio, Sul tuo amore'in (belch)

Rum Tee Diddle Dee Yump

Rum Tee Diddle Dee Yump Tee Diddle Dee Yump.

My name is Sir Frederick Gas, and I guess I'm the happiest guy in the whole world. I want everybody to be happy like me. Do you want me to tell you what makes me so happy?
Oh! No? OK, I will.

The other night in my hotel, I had an awfull fright.
Rum Tee Diddle Dee Yump Tee Diddle Dee Yump.
A lady walking in her sleep came to my room one night.
Rum Tee Diddle Dee Yump Tee Diddle Dee Yump.
I said "What do you want with me? You better go away."
And just then she awoke and said "Where am I? Tell me, pray."
But that was just a story, y'see, she wanted me to play.
Rum Tee Diddle Dee Yump Tee Diddle Dee Yump.

Oh, my!

The other day I took my car, and I started into town.
Rum Tee Diddle Dee Yump Tee Diddle Dee Yump.
I saw a railroad crossing, so I started slowing down.
Rum Tee Diddle Dee Yump Tee Diddle Dee Yump.
A streamline train was coming, so I threw her into high.
It was a most exciting race, but it ended in a tie.
That doesn't bother me, I always can get by
with my Rum Tee Diddle Dee Yump Tee Diddle Dee Yump.

I'll make you cry, you darned old Sadivarious.
There!

I got a phonecall from the Philadelphia Symphony
Rum Tee Diddle Dee Yump Tee Diddle Dee Yump.
I really was surpised, to think that they would call on me.
Rum Tee Diddle Dee Yump Tee Diddle Dee Yump.
The crowd stood in line all night, they even slept on cots.
The band began, I waited for my cue was two gunshots.
When I sat down they threw me flowers, but left them in the pot.
So I played Rum Tee Diddle Dee Yump Tee Diddle Dee Yump.

Oh, everything goes wrong when I'm trying so hard to make a hit.

Nutcracker Suite

The Little Girl's Dream
Land of the Sugar-Plum Fairy
The Fairy Ball
The Mysterious Room
Back to the Fairy Ball
End Of The Little Girl's Dream

The Little Girl's Dream

Once on a Christmas Eve a Little Girl lay dreaming,
She dreamed of wondrous gifts that hung upon her Christmas tree.
There in her dreams she spied, in silver brightly gleaming,
A funny old NUTCRACKER hung beside a beautiful SUGAR-PLUM FAIRY.

NC: "I am the cracker of the nuts."
SPF: "Oh he's the cracker of the nuts."
NC: "And you are made of sugar plums."
SPF: "Yes I'm the fairy sugar-plum."

VERSE CHOIR:
The nutcracker's the colonel of a regiment of soldiers,
Tin....wood....some are made of honey cake,
The soldiers every one must love the sugar candy fairy
For they're always at the ready guarding every move she makes.

Now in her dream it seemed the Christmas tree got bigger,
Then thru' the floor there streamed an army of a thousand MICE!

Hail the KING..... all hail the KING, with a tail like a string,
On a KING is a thing to behold!

MK: "I'm the MOUSE KING, I wanta fight, I wanta fight,
Let's have a war, hey NUTCRACKER, you got a sword?"

NC: "I accept the challenge to fight you,
Yes, I got a sword, I will prove that I'm your master and your lord."

(fight)

Voice: The NUTCRACKER'S STAGGERING, Oh what to do
The MOUSE KING is set now, ready to run him thru'
The NUTCRACKER's down,..he's up..now he's down again
The LITTLE GIRL's worried to death, her face wears a frown again
She takes off her shoe - takes careful aim
And hurls it at the MOUSE KING, zip! zap! ZAME!!
The MOUSE KING's down - she hit him on the head

CHOIR:
The cheesy little geezer tried to be a Julius Caesar
So she bopped him on the beezer and the MOUSE KING's dead!

Glory, glory, glory, Oh the MOUSE... KING's... dead.

VERSE CHOIR:
Then what do you think did happen?
When the MOUSE turned up his toes, the NUTCRACKER changed
To a handsome PRINCE, right in front of the LITTLE GIRL's nose.
So they all joined hands, as happy as can be,
Why don't you join them now and march around the Christmas tree?

(march)

VOICE: "Faster, kids, faster - wheeeeeee..." (Dbl. time to fin.)

Land of the Sugar-Plum Fairy

So they flew to the home of the SUGAR-PLUM FAIRY,
Way off in LEMON DROP LAND,
Where the rivers are honey, and everything's funny,
The mountains are strawberry jam
When the NUTCRACKER PRINCE and the GIRL
landed there The SUGAR-PLUM FAIRY was giving a BALL
And here's what the PRINCE and the LITTLE GIRL saw,
In her beautiful rock-candy hall...

The Fairy Ball

See the candy fairies, sugar-plums, jelly-beans, chocolate bars,
Dance the minuet,
With the candied cherries, lolly-pops, peppermints, candy-canes,
As they pirouette,
See the FAIRY PRINCESS curtsying, gracefully, beautifully,
Swaying to the tune...
Music in the air (so entrancing)
Flowers in her hair (as she's dancing)
Love is everywhere (Ah-h-h-h-h-h-h-h)
'Neath the yellow lemon-drop moon.

Intro to Chinese Dance

Now the LITTLE GIRL had two Chinese dolls that had come along with them too,
And one had the name of, "MO-DON-FUN," and the other was called, "AH-CHOO"
They rubbed each other's noses, (that's the way the chinky Chinaman kiss,)
Then they started in, to do a dance, that sounded something like this...

(chinese dance)

VOICE: "Chang-fong-chee-hop-so-wing-so-lee...
Go light yo' fiah-clacker, bang-up Chlissmus..."

(Dance continues, faster and faster to finish.)

Dance of the Flutes

D'ja ever see a tin flute dancing? (Hm?)
D'ja ever know a piccolo could dance a jig?
Here's the tune they dance to when they get a chance to,
It's a kind of a rinky-dinky, ending with a whirli-gig...

(flute dances)

When, they play the music hot, they dance a hot gavotte
As like as not

When a penny flute goes dancing, he'll never ask a lady piccolo of course,
He never goes for small things, what he likes, of all things, is...a HORSE!

The Mysterious Room

In the SUGAR-PLUM FAIRY's palace, (in the middle, just off center)
Was a spooky old room, that the LITTLE GIRL knew
She was strictly forbidden to enter

VERSE CHOIR: The door was covered with cob-webs,
and this most mysterious room Was dark as an elephant's tummy---still as a mummy's tomb
But the LITTLE GIRL got curious, curiosity is what killed killed the cat,
She crept to the door, got down on the floor
And peeked thru' the crack----WHAT'S THAT!??

(arab dance)

VOICE: "I say Holmes-----wot was that?"

(Dance continues till door closes)

Back To the Fairy Ball

One of the presents the LITTLE GIRL got was a wonderful Russian doll,
He winked his eye, stroked his beard,
And danced the fol-der-ol-dol, the fol-der-ol-dol, (overlap vocally)
The Russians you know are very well known, from Timbuctu to France,
They fold their arms across their chest, and sit on their pants and dance,
Oh-h-h-h-h-h-h, they dance on the seat of their pants

(russian dance)

After the dolls had danced, the LITTLE GIRL stood entranced,
For all of the flowers in LEMON-DROP LAND,
Came waltzing down from Marmalade Mountain

Waltz of the Flowers

All of the blooms were there, dancing the waltz of the flowers,
Every little yellow columbine, met her fellow honeysuckle vine,
Every posy loves to ring-a-round the rosy till the morning hours,
Each handsome dandelion, waltzed with his own brown-eyed Susan,
Every little daisy in the dell, knew a secret none of them would tell,
If you'd ask them they would only say,
She loves you, loves you not,
She loves you, loves you not,
She WHAT!
And then they'd go a soaring, soaring, soaring,
All the world adoring
Gliding, gliding, gliding
Every heart entwined, in three-quarter-time.
Pink azaleas, and camellias, met their fav'rite bougainvilleas,
Rhododendrons, point their tendrons, as they curtsy and bow to all
We could mention, some dissension, when a dahlia paid attention
To a dew-eyed, blue-eyed gentian, who just sat by the garden wall.
Ah... poor wall-flower, your petal heart is breaking,
What does it gain you, crying your heart out,
Why does it pain you, why don't you start out... to find a little love
Poor wall-flower, know that altho' that heart is breaking,
Sadness is fleeting, joy you'll be meeting,
Open your heart and hark to love's greeting

Then as time wore on the pretty little flowers,
Wilted down to meet the morning hours,
Tulips and roses assumed graceful poses,
And then the great clock in the tower struck twelve
And the WALTZ OF THE FLOWERS was ended

End Of The Little Girls Dream

CHORUS: Good night, sleep tight, it's time for bed they say
So close your eyes and you'll surprise them with another day,
And if you pray, the Lord your soul to keep,
You'll have a guardian angel guarding you,
Close your eyes....and sleep.

Morpheus (Orpheus Overture)

I Haven't Been Home For Three Whole Nights

Been having some fun for three whole nights
Three whole nights, [fire my jersey?]
Been having some fun for three whole nights
Last night, tonight and tomorrow.

Now I lost my wife's last money
And I didn't care
But now I'm really worried
'Cause somebody's moved my house somewhere

I haven't been home for three whole nights
Three whole nights, practically a fortnight
I haven't been home for three whole nights
Last night, tonight and tomorrow.

My wife she up and left me
Yes, I guess she was provoked
She said I had bad habits
She couldn't stand a man who smoked

I haven't been home for three whole nights
Three whole nights, three whole nights
I haven't been home for three whole nights
Last night, tonight and...and yester.. no no
Last night, tonight and to.. no no
Well, it really doesn't matter, I'm going to get heck when I get home, anyway.

Alto, Baritone and Bass

'Cause the don't re-record
Like Les Paul, Mary Ford
Patti Page, Tony Martin and me
For I am a trio, you see

It's three times the work for one third the pay
Takes three times the time and no time for play
There's multiple voices all over the place
I'm an alto, a baritone and bass

My songs of the west come out in the east
That don't bother me, but when they're released
They are not back-to-back, they're pressed face-to-face
And I'm alto, a baritone and bass

My life is divided, divided in three
And if I can't get out of this fix
I'll marry a trio and raise harmony
In our own echochamber for six

I squawked to the boss, but what does he say
"Old soloist die, they don't pay the way"
But I go on record presenting the case
Of an alto, a baritone and bass

They play back, they play back
And re-record me singing harmony
Then play back, they play back
While I add my voice number three

Now, I ain't one for retarding progress
In fact multiple voices sound fine
A new sound happens once in a lifetime
But why did it happen in mine

I'm forced to get wealthy in sweet misery
And speaking of misery, it loves company
And there'll come a day, some poor guy will get caught
Re-recording Spike Jones, what a horrible thought

And speaking of love, that's all that I do
The girl of my dreams is all mixed-up, too
'Cause who does she sigh for each time we embrace
Not the alto, the baritone or bass
Oh no! For a tenor on radio.

The Tennessee Waltz

I remember the night,
And the Tennessee Waltz
Now I'm knowing how much I have lost
Yes, I lost my little darlin'
The night they were playing
The beautiful Tennessee Waltz.

I remember the night,
And the Tennessee Waltz
Now I know just how much I have lost
Yes, I lost my little darlin'
The night they were playing
The beautiful Tennessee Waltz

Too Young

What?

What?

You are so right.

What?

They try to tell us we're too young
Oh, Hedy. Hedy!
Too young to really fall in love
Rita, ma chère. Rita!
They say that love's a word
A word we've only heard
My Lana. Lana!
We can't begin to know the meaning of
Ingrid, darling. Ingrid!
And yet we're not too young to know
Oh.
This love may last though years may go
Shelley, dear. Shelley!
And then some day they may recall
My Ava. Ava!
We were not too young at all
Oh, Trigger. Trigger! Trigger. Darling, no, look out. Come back, dear. Come back, look out, the train. LOOK OOOOOUUUUTT!

Rickyshaw

So if you boys should call on us
Don't want to hurt your pride
Please don't bring no rickyshaws
We no dig that crazy ride

Oh, Yong Yong
Me no want no rickyshaw romance
rickyshaw ride have no appeal
This chick not no rickyshaw baby
Cadillac with wire wheels

Me no got that open new Jaguar
Rickyshaw nosiree
You go find your rickyshaw sweetie
Somebody else not me

We left the hills of the Orient
For the hills of Tennessee
Where they don't have no rickyshaws
They drive a model T

We fell in love with mad mountain boys
Two great big manly hunks
We call them [hydry mallick?]
Cause we know they're shapeless skunks

Oh, Yong Yong,
Me no want no rickyshaw romance
Me stay here in Tennessee
Give me that good old southern cooking
Chicken Chow Maine and black-eye peas

Me just love to go for ride
In rickety model T
You can have that rickyshaw romance
Me stay in Tennessee
You can have that rickyshaw romance
Me very happy in Tennessee

Chinese Mule Train

The transcription of this entertaining piece is left as an exercise for the listener.

Oh By Jingo

Oh by gee by gosh by gum by jove
Oh By Jingo once you hear our love
We will build for you a hut
You will be our favourite nut
We will have a lot of little Oh By Gollies
And we'll put them in the follies
By Jingo said "By gosh by gee
By jiminy please don't bother me"
So they all went away singing
Oh by gee by gosh by gum by jove By Jingo
By gee, you're the only girl for me.

Oh by gee by gosh by gum by jove
Oh By Jingo once you hear our love
We will build for you a hut
You will be our favourite nut
We will have a lot of little Oh By Gollies
And we'll put them in the follies
By Jingo said "By gosh by gee
By jiminy please don't bother me"
So they all went away singing
Oh by gee by gosh by gum by jove By Jingo
By gee, you're the only girl for me.

The Sheik Of Araby

And the stars that shine above,
Will light our way to love.
You'll roam this land with me,
The Sheik of Araby.

Oh, I'm the Sheik of Araby
And all the women worship me.
You should see them follow me around. Not bad.
Even wives of all the other sheiks,
They beg to kiss my rosy cheeks
And that ain't bad -- in fact, that's good, I've found. I'm a cad!

When I lay down to sleep
I'm counting girls instead of sheep
From my harem I can't scare 'em out. Why should I?
They're beauties from all races,
And some have pretty faces.
I'm the Sheik who knows what love is all about.

Wild Bill Hiccup

I'm Wild Bill Hiccup and I'm brave and strong
I've been riding the range for six months long
I've been riding the range a-rounding up cattle
I've got so many blisters, I'm tall in the saddle

I am a villain I'm mean as can be
I hate the hero 'cause he sings off-key.
I'm an honerary cad and I'm so full af lead
When a rattlesnakes bites me he drops down dead
Why, chewing on bullets is my daily routine
See what I mean?

How, me indian, Handsome Hand
Ugh, me also businessman
We're taking scalps to make a penny
Sells them to man named Jack Benny

Our story takes place in a lawless town
They'd called on Hiccup to tame things down
He has just arived and who should he meet
But a no-good outlaw Poison Pete

Pete, I hear you've been a-rustling again
And I blew up the bank and I shot twenty men
I held up the stagecoach, and robbed the mail car
One of these days you're gonna go too far

So you think that you're a pretty good fighter
You should have seen what I did to Pink Rider
You mean Red Rider. No, he changed his name
He got faded last week, in a big crap game

I think you're a coward through and through
I'm gonna tell the whole town what I think of you
(Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!) So there!
Shooting off your mouth won't get you anywhere

You better leave town if you wanna live
Or I'll fill you full with holes till you look like a sieve
My old six-shooter is a-aching to spout
You better cover up the muzzle, the candy's falling out

Now the mood of our story changes fast
Hiccup is back on his ranch at last

Well, here I am, I better get dressed
I've got a heavy date, I wanna look my best
I'll take a quick shower and smell like a flower
(short shower sound) That was a mighty quick shower

Who's a-knocking at my door
It's Gopher Annie, the girl you adore
Gopher Gal you've changed somehow
Do I look like a cowgirl? No, like a cow

Bill, do you like the perfume in my hair
Is that the perfume you always wear
No, this is stronger, it's more alive
What do you call it? Corral number five.

Gal, I can see you've been riding. Of course,
and I had to put the blindfold on the horse
Blindfold a horse, you're crazy in the head
If he sees what he's carrying I'm afraid he'll drop dead

Gal, I loves you, deep down inside
and I've been needing a wife since old Kate died
What stop just starring, why don't you propose?
I can't find a ring the size of your nose

Anyway I've got to find Poison Pete
I think he's hiding at Girdle Creek
Girdle Creek, there must be a catch
Is it far from here? It's quite a stretch

Well, here we are, it's the end of the ride
Pete and his gang are waiting inside
Now here's my plan: Be as quiet as a mouse
I'll sneak in, and you surround the house

Here's your gun. I don't need a gun
I'm gonna throw that gang out, one by one
I hope you know what you're talking about
You just count 'em as I throw 'em out

One!

Stop counting, that's me.

Three Little Fishies

Down in the meadow in the itty-bitty pool
Swam three little fishies and the mamma fishie, too.
"Swim," said the mamma fishie, "swim if you can."
And they swam and they swam all over the dam.

Boom, boom, diddum, daddum, wattum, shoop
Boom, boom, diddum, daddum, wattum, shoop
Boom, boom, diddum, daddum, wattum, shoop
And they swam and they swam all over the dam.

"Stop!" said the mamma fishie, "you will get lost."
But the three little fishies didn't want to be bossed
The three little fishies went off on a spree
And they swam and they swam right out to the sea.

Boom, boom, diddum, daddum, wattum, shoop
Boom, boom, diddum, daddum, wattum, shoop
Boom, boom, diddum, daddum, wattum, shoop
And they swam and they swam right out to the sea.

"Whee!" yelled the little fishies, "This is lots of fun!"
"We'll swim in the sea 'til the day is done!"
So they swam and they swam and it was a lark
Till all of the sudden they met a shark.

Boom, boom, diddum, daddum, wattum, shoop
Boom, boom, diddum, daddum, wattum, shoop
Boom, boom, diddum, daddum, wattum, shoop
Till all of the sudden they saw a shark.

"Help!" cried the little fishes "Look at all the whales!"
Quick as they could they turned on their tails.
Back to the pool in the meadow they swam
And they swam and they swam back over the dam

Boom, boom, diddum, daddum, wattum, shoop
Boom, boom, diddum, daddum, wattum, shoop
Boom, boom, diddum, daddum, wattum, shoop
And they swam and they swam back over the dam

Boom, boom, diddum, daddum, wattum, shoop
Boom, boom, diddum, daddum, wattum, shoop
Boom, boom, diddum, daddum, wattum, shoop
And they swam and they swam back over the dam

Pop Corn Sack

Ah, Amy, Let me take off my shoes and run barefoot through your hair.
Oh, but Charles, I always thought you wante.. (crackle crackle)

The big main feature lights the screen
The hero beats the villains back
Then comes the climax of the scene
Rattle rattle rattle pop corn sack

The mystery picture's in a mess
The cops admit the case looks black
Just when the crook starts to confess
Rattle rattle rattle pop corn sack

They've brought back silent pictures
and that's no gag
The loudest sound department
Is in the back

On comes a girl in tight sarong
Cut so in front and low in back
She takes a deep breath for a song
Rattle rattle rattle pop corn sack

That Eddie Robinson is tough
But when he tries to do his stuff
"I'm gonna drill ya, see, and y'know why, Jack?
Now I'll slug that mug with the pop corn sack"

When Katharine Hepburn speaks her part
And gives out high dramatic art
"Oh, the callalilies will soon be back
On the chest of that pest with the pop corn sack"

That salt and butter rattler
Soon drives you nuts
You must eliminate him
[no it's a buts?]

It doesn't mean a doggone thing
When Mr. Jolson starts to sing

The noise comes from the guy behind
You turn and shoot (bang) falls down smack
You think now you'll have peace of mind
(Timber!) goes another pop corn sack

Fiddle Faddle

Whoa, this here lad
Sure went bad
Seems he had a yen to buy a violin
And bow [dad? burned? it?]
Don't you know
He traded in his rifle and he bought himself a fiddle

And the [banker that he use upon his triggers?]
Played figures, by jiggers, he sure did fine
All the folks knew why the birds were flying low down
You can bet your life
It's that hillbilly [harp?]
It's a-teaching him that country hoedown

How the old folks would enjoy
Their favourite tune as played by Mr. Coy
How he did
Yessir that's all he did
And folks would flip their lid
To hear him play

There ain't no doubt
His name were spread about
And Arthur Godfrey's scout
Heard of this boy
So he auditioned Coy
He made the break
When on that same parade
Another fiddler played
It was a dame
Ann Martin was her name

Then and there the same old battle brewed
The Martins and the Coys in a fiddle faddle feud

The folks began a-cheering for miss Martin
Looks certain
She's a-carting
The big prize home
And Coy he played a-way beyond compare
But they wound up in the middle
Just a-playing second fiddle
To the third man a zither player

That was it
But the love bug lit
They both was bit
And so he popped the question
They got wed
And he said
They spent the honeymoon in Arthur Fiddler's fiddle section.

I Wonder Where My Baby Is Tonight

If she came back I wonder what I'd do
I wonder did she find somebody new
She didn't treat me fair
I know I shouldn't care
I wonder where my baby is tonight

I wonder does my baby do the charleston, charleston
I wonder who is teaching her the charleston, charleston
While I sit and sigh
The time goes dragging by
I'd like to kill the guy who wrote the charleston, charleston

She left me 'cause I couldn't do the charleston, charleston
She'd still be here if I could do the charleston, charleston
I'm taking lessons now
I'll win her back somehow
I wonder where my baby is tonight

My Two Front Teeth (All I Want For Christmas)

All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth (thweeth)
My two front teeth (thweeth)
See, my two front teeth. (thweeth)
Gee, if I could only have my two front teeth (thweeth)
Then I could wish you Merry Chrissmass.

It seems so long since I could say:
"Sister Susie sitting on a thistle."
Every time I try to speak all I do is whistle: ssssssss.

All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth
My two front teeth (thweeth)
See, my two front teeth. (thweeth thweeth)
Gee, if I could only have my two front teeth
Then I could wish you Merry Chrissmass.

(Jingle Bells)

Good old Santa Claus and all his reindeer, they used to bring me lots of toys and candy
But now when I go out and call: 'Dancer, Prancer, Donner and Blitzen', none of them can understand me

All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth
My two front teeth (thweeth)
My two front teeth.(thweeth thweeth)
All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth
So I can wish you Merry Chrissmass.

Chrissmass - Chrissmass - oh, for goodness sakes: Happy New Year!

It Never Rains In Sunny California

There are some things which never will happen,
and you know I'm right
Like Little Abner getting married,
and Dick Tracy losing a fight.
And out in Hollywood there's one thing
on which you can bank every time,
For it never, never happens,
so you can bet your last dime

That it never rains in sunny California,
How true, how true, how true;
It never rains in sunny California,
but what a lot of dew!
The sun keeps shining all the time,
it shines where e'er you float,
And the scenery is so lovely to see
if you own a glass bottom boat.
But it never rains in sunny California,
the sun shines all the time.

(Sneeze) It dever raids id Suddy Califordia (Wheeze)
Of course dot, How perfectly obserd (Sneeze)
It dever raids id suddy Califordia (Hack)
The Chaber of Cobberse (Breath) give you their word.
(Cough) The liquid sud keeps pourin down, It's so hard to explaid.
If you're not a Califordian (Sniff) you'd swear that it was raid.
But it dever raids in suddy Califordia (Wheeze)
I heard some people say (Huff) that it dever raids in Suddy California
As they swam past me out in the Valley the other day.
Why, id my back yard I had a garden, growing fresh ad green.
I looked out there this morning (Uh) saw a submarine!
But it dever raids in Suddy Califordia.
IT'S A CLOUDBURST all the -- uh uh uh (Sneeze hack) time.